Lessons from Lasso: feelings and friendship, leadership and life

'Feelings get you stuck, but feelings also set you free. Effort can make you vulnerable, but effort matters.'

A lot has & will continue to be written about Ted Lasso. A brilliant script with a brilliant cast tasked with telling a story that is not that different than many of us, that the worst place to be is lost in perpetual stuckness.

Most references to the show speak to its lessons in leadership; there are plenty to be sure. But the ease at which we've come to work Lasso one-liners into well-intentioned yet, feeble attempts at motivating our real world peers, teams, or friends does a disservice to the larger lesson ->

The road to growth is not only long and hard, but sometimes burdened with the weight of our past haunts are heavy enough to sidetrack us in a black hole. It's here that we find the characters of the show, lost in their place in time, unable to break free, through, or from.

Over three seasons, we came to love the effortless common sense of Coach Lasso, who does his darndest to mask the depth of his insights with aww shucks and plain speakin' southern charm. Behind that façade though is a man who we come to find out, has more pain, confusion, and anger than any of his pupils. So while Ted certainly begins to lead those around him to the edge of their improved self, it isn't until he begins to tackle his own emotional burdens that the community as a whole breaks free of their purgatory.

If we think Ted Lasso was about leadership, we must first understand what it is to lead, which by definition is:

LEAD

verb

1. be a route or means of access to a particular place or in a particular direction
2. cause to go with one by holding them by the hand

The genius of Lasso’s leadership is how he applies his humbleness, patience, wisdom, and creativity to be both the vessel for access to new direction for his companions and the one who takes it as personal responsibility to hold their hand along the way.

But I'd argue that the show Ted Lasso is more about friendship than it is about leadership.

• Beard's loyalty to Ted was only matched by his brutal honesty that more than once set Ted on the right path.
• Rebecca's self-built wall against showing any weakness or emotion was only scaled by the unabashedly jovial openness of Keeley.
• Roy's anger could only be bested by Jamie's naivety.
• Ted's (supposed) lack of ambition was the only thing to keep the danger of Nate's ambition in check.

While at times at odds (with each other / with themselves) as their friendships grew, so did their ability to meet their friend's vulnerability with grace. It's here that the magic started to happen:

Where grace was received -> friendships formed

Where friendships formed -> new leaders were raised

It was those leaders (those friends) who held the hand of Ted as he navigated through the paralyzing demons that had trapped him in a position of helper for everyone else, but not for himself.

When we think of the legacy of Ted Lasso, perhaps Ted Anthony of the Associated Press (sorry Trent Crimm, Independent, Ted Anthony is a real journalist) summarized the lessons of the show best:

'Feelings get you stuck, but feelings also set you free.

Effort can make you vulnerable, but effort matters.'

Believe it folks!

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Random farewell thoughts of the show:

• While my first preference would have been for Ted and his wife to have worked out their differences and saved their marriage (did they??), a Ted and Rebecca courtship would have been a fantastic closing to the show
• If any character deserved a spin-off, it’s Roy Kent. After all, ‘he’s here, he’s there, he’s every f-ingWhere! Bonus points for this idea because we could get more Jamie Tartt, whether that’s his and Roy’s friendship or their rivalry. Give us all of it! (JA - MIE Tartt do do do do do do do)
• I thought for sure that Nate would have landed the head coaching gig of Richmond after Ted left but I was pleasantly surprised to see it went to Roy. Makes more sense and shows Roy's growth.
• While I think Keeley and Roy are wonderful for each other, I can't help but think that it's Keeley and Jaimie who are meant to be together. Plus let's face it, a Keepin' Up with Keeley Jones and Jamie Tartt' would crush reality television!
• Every show (and every real world group) needs their stable and for that reason, let's agree that Leslie was the silent hero of the Ted Lasso and friends. Dopey comic relief and comforting Labrador Retriever in human form. He kept it light but was the stable ground that the rest of the characters needed the most. Honorary mention to Trent Crimm
• Beard’s speech to Nate explaining how he became so loyal to Ted and then hugging Nate when it was obviously a forced effort to put his forgiveness into physical action was a top 5 moment
• Zoro/Van Damme/Zava: What a bit. Hilarious. Say no more
• The soundtrack was tops. BritPop, 90's, classics, the perfect blend. I'd be willing to bet the Richmond Greyhounds could sell out Broadway with their rendition of the Sound of Music's 'So long, farewell'
• Back to the Ted and Rebecca theme: -Rebecca calming Ted in the alleyway of the karaoke bar after his panic attack was another top 5 moment (the Dad in me says that she definitely should have walked back with him to the hotel though to ensure he was safe!) -Ted and Rebecca Christmas episode gave us all the warm fuzzies. -Sam

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