The Root of Effective Leadership

We confuse authority with leadership: 'I have power, therefore I lead, therefore others will be led'. But humans are complex, being led by reasons that go far deeper than the limited linear scope of job responsibilities and an organization's hierarchy. We take to work with us a life which is not linear, a complicated grey area of haunted pasts, bills to pay, sick kids, sick societies and once every 100 years...global pandemics that take all of the above and throw them up in the air for us to frantically pull back together while maintaining a pleasant professional outwardly appearance.

In order to lead others to the surface, one must swim below the presentable facade of our people, where the water is muddied with their uncertainties and fears. Yet this is precisely where relationships are built, ones which can have a 'profound effect on attitude and dedication to you, as well as your organization's vision and purpose'.

In other words, the root of effective leadership is relational.

But how do you do it? As Jeff Pruitt writes, we must put Big Listening to work:

• How often do you ask how someone is doing, but fail to listen to what's on the other side of that question? You might hear the response, but with big listening, you're not just listening to their words, you're paying attention to other subtle cues such as tone, the eyes, shifts in body language, facial expressions --all the context around the words.
• Did their response bring them joy or did you sense another emotion behind the words? These cues can help guide your next questions, and this is important for several reasons. You'll ask more meaningful questions, demonstrate you're truly listening, and discover something new about that person or get to the root of something they may have been struggling with."

In sales, we call this an effective Discovery, casting aside our overzealous desires to rush to solutioning the problem. Similarly, effective leadership must first seek to understand...to relate. One of the most powerful acts of leadership is showcasing your own limitations, a humble vulnerability which connects people at an intimate level. You would be surprised to find that not all employees need you to answer all of their questions or solve all their problems, they just need you to receive them. Once received, there is trust and where there is trust there is relationships, inspiring others to grow beyond their expected potential.

Authority vs. Access

If you are in a leadership position within your business, you are granted 2 unique powers: Authority over others & Access to others. Leadership by authority is linear, yielding a predictable but underwhelming performance in return.

Yet when we translate that power to direct access to interesting, inspiring and complex people, we open up ourselves to long term relationships which lead people and businesses to greatness. If anything else, it just makes you a better human.

-sam

If you are looking for relational leadership in your life or in your business, contact me.

You have so much more to give!